Following on from my previous post
Having been admitted, I could no longer leave the home treatment team premises unescorted. I had to wait in reception while the bed manager tried to find me a bed. I was constantly offered hot drinks and food, but I mostly refused because of how I was feeling. The nurse who had known me a long time continued to offer me reassurance and pop in on me now and again to see how I was doing. He even had the decently to take me out side for a smoke when I needed one, which was a welcome relief considering I had already been there for 5 hours.
8:45pm came and the nurse again came out of the office to see how I was doing. He told me they still hadn’t found a bed and they will not give up. He also told me that home treatment finish at 9pm and I would have to go and wait with the A&E Mental Health Liaison Team till they had found one and I reluctantly agreed.
By 9:30pm the nurse drove us up to A&E and we walked in. After being booked in at reception I followed him around to the office where team are based. Looking to the corridor on my left I could see the assessment room I had spent many a time in and just hoped more than anything that I would not to wait in there.
The nurse opened the door and introduced me to his colleague and said that she would be looking me while I waited for a bed. He told me not to worry as he would trust her with his own children’s lives. This made me feel a little more at ease but I still had that horrid feeling that I would be waiting in the assessment room.
After what seemed like an hour (I’m sure it was more like 2 minutes) the nurse left and I was left with this new nurse who asked me to follow. She took me through to the A&E ward and into the family room, she said I would wait here and that if I needed anything don’t hesitate to ask. She also brought a hot cup of chocolate in for to.
This room I was waiting in was really nice, relaxing even. It had yellow walls adorned with old pictures and explanations from the past. It had a round table to one side with 4 comfy chairs and a retro style radio waiting to be heard. In the far corner near the door was a wall unit with various shelves containing information on dementia and various board games. On the top most shelf was a china tea set, though I could tell it was only there as an ornament.
12:30am arrived and the nurse walked in with another cup of hot chocolate. She said they had found me a bed, but it was quite some distance away. She told me it was in Harrogate, approximately 2 hour’s drive and she had arranged the transport.
By 12:45am myself and the nurse got into the taxi. I wasn’t allowed to sit behind the driver for obvious safety reasons so that’s where the nurse sat. After being told to wear my seat belt we set off on the long journey.
Nothing much happened during the journey really, but I leant on the window looking out. It was raining and peaceful and the driver was rather happy on the pedal, especially when we hit the countryside. The where one point he totally missed a give way sign (I saw it clearly enough) and flew over a junction without looking. The nurse seemed rather shocked and scared by this but I didn’t even budge as I didn’t care. I just continued to lay there stirring out of the window watching the down pour. I would drift in and out of sleep all the way there.
3:00am arrived and we had arrived at our destination. I was taken up to the front door (a typical airlock) and taken through several more to this quiet room where 2 members of staff was waiting with paperwork. We went through it and they asked if I could empty mu pockets to which I did. They then went over my body with a security wand and gave me a final pat down. I was then took on the tour of the ward and shown my room but I remained up, didn’t go to bed, just sat there in complete silence while wave after wave of flashbacks began to fill my mind.
I was placed on 15 minute observations due to the risk assessment the nurse did as I came in.
I have been here quite a few days now, I have gotten to know the staff and I have started back on medication. I am hopeful that there will be a positive outcome to all this…
Take care, Stay strong, Much love x