The Past

Growing Up – Part 2 (tw)

Continuing on from my last post.

Within a year I was to meet another boy called Ian. He was overweight and had the strangest fascination with refuse vehicles and the work the operators did. He would often walk around the streets around his home helping the bin men as they collected everyone’s waste. This was how I was to meet him, as he always came by my house on his rounds.

He was the same age as me and had special needs. He went to a special needs school and was highly reliant on other people. He didn’t really have any friends, just like myself and through me helping him one day with a particular heavy bin, we became friends and would spent time together on his street every now and again. We would often play a game called Kirby, where we would be on opposite sides of the road and we would take turns throwing a football in the hope it would strike the kerb and bounce back. This would give you a point and allow you to go to the centre of the road to throw the ball again. Each time it struck the kerb it gave you a point. But once you missed you would have to return to the pavement.

It was through Ian that I would meet one of his neighbours. He was an elderly man called Harry. He would sometimes come to his door and ask us to run an errand to the shop, for which he would give us a quid. We did this often, partly because we was being paid and partly because we was helping somebody in need. Sometimes Harry would invite us in for a drink, freshly squeezed orange juice and we would sit in his living room talking. I kind of got the feeling that he was lonely so it was then that I started to go around by myself on the odd occasion to see if he needed any help or just wanted some company.

I remember the very first time he offered me alcohol. I had never had alcohol before as I was only young. Of course being the age I was I was curious as to what it was like so I said yes. He had a cabinet in the corner which went from the floor to the ceiling, and on the upper shelves a lot of bottles, each containing different alcoholic drinks in various strengths. He pulled down a bottle of sherry and told me that it was his favourite, then proceeded to pour me a glass. I remember that as I took a sip and swallowed, it gave me a warm sensation that went right down to my chest. I actually really enjoyed the taste and would end up having several glasses.

Within no time at all I was drunk, and I could hardly walk. He would look at me continuously with a smile on his face and because of this I would giggle every now and again and ask him why he was stirring at me, to which he would always reply “your such a nice boy for all the help and company you give me”. After a while of silly conversations, I found myself falling to sleep on the sofa. I actually did fall asleep several times but would wake up slightly, dazed, because I felt I was being moved.

When I did wake enough to realise what was happening, I found myself upstairs in his bedroom lying down on his bed. I could not see Harry straight away and as I looked around I noticed an exercise bike in the corner, and the other things in his room was normal stuff like sets of drawers and wardrobes. I also noticed it was still light outside, as the sun was beaming through the window. It was then that I noticed Harry was lying next to me on the bed. He only had his underwear on at this point and his vest. There was also a toilet roll placed next to my head. As I sat up I noticed that my trousers was unbuttoned and my fly was pulled down. My trousers had also been lowered slightly and for a while I was confused.

As the possibility of what happened began to sink in, I could feel the fear, shame and guilt creeping in. I also felt immensely nauseous and began to pull my trousers up, fasten them and pull up my zip. At this point I headed to the bathroom and began to throw up in the toilet. I had all kinds of thoughts going through my head, like, what exactly just happened? Did he really do what I think he may of done, and what exactly? Holy shit my mum is going to kill me when she finds out I had a drink! I felt physically weak and ill by the time I finished throwing up and headed back out of the bathroom. When I opened the door, I jumped a mile, as harry was stood right there with that same look from earlier. He said to me “don’t tell anyone you have been here today, but I would still like your company once in a while. I also have a computer coming tomorrow so you could always play some games on that to”. I told him I had to go home now before I got into trouble and he proceeded to walk me down the stairs and made me drink a cup of luke warm coffee before I left, He said it would help stop anybody finding out that I had been drinking. He walked me to the front door and said good bye.

Having been through what I was still going through with Joe, I really never expected something similar to happen again. I did not know how to process all of this and it caused a lot of negative emotions. On top of that, I was due in school the following morning.

As soon as I got home, which was around tea time. I just went straight up to my room after taking my coat off and didn’t even say a word to my parents or siblings. I closed the curtains and jumped into bed, and just lay awake in the dark for what seemed like an eternity. My mind was constantly on overdrive and I just wanted that memory and others to be somehow magically erased like it never happened.

About an hour later my mum came to my room to tell me my tea was ready. At first I pretended to be asleep and didn’t answer. She called my name a few times and I still did not answer. Eventually she shock me, so thought it best to make it look like I was just waking up. “your teas ready, you must be starving” she would say. To which I responded that I didn’t feel to well and just wanted to sleep. My mum then placed her hand on my forehead to see if I had a temperature and then turned the light on. This caused instant discomfort to my eyes as I had been in the dark so long. She said that I looked very pale and asked if anything had happened today that could of brought it on, but I said no. She left and came back a short time later with medicine and a drink of water and told me to rest up. She also said that she would check on me every now and again, and if I needed her at any point, then all I had to do was shout.

This incident at Harrys was just the first of many to come from him. It started like I mentioned above but it progressed to other things as the months went on. I really don’t know why I kept going back given what was happening to me. But I always wanted more of that sherry he gave me and the payments for running errands for him. There was also this one time he bought me a birthday present which I had to hide from my family as it was expensive, and I really didn’t want to be questioned.

I am going to leave it here again tonight as I am getting tired and I am currently finding this slightly triggering. But I will continue it tomorrow on my next post.

Take care all of you
Chris x


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